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Oct. 24th, 2009

Cecily has been married since September, to a courtier who takes good care of her and keeps her in fine dress, which was all she really wanted out of marriage anyway. At first she meant to be forsworn of all other men once she was married, but that has turned out to be a very fine ideal which she hasn't much kept to. Of the men she's seen, though, Sagramore hasn't been one.

When she sees him again in the gardens he's teasing Gwytha over some trifle. They're both laughing, and Gwytha looks beautiful, and Cecily honestly never imagined that she'd miss him, but she does, and it hurts. She's always known that he gives freely of his affections, that she wasn't the only lady he loved; still, it's true to say she's never seen him with someone he looks so well with. Gwytha, whose skin is shady like his, has a sweet round body that would fit well in his arms.

Cecily's never been jealous before. Now she feels like she's on fire.

She finds a quiet place in the castle to sit, and rests her head in her hands and burns.

---

Sagramore's beard is getting ridiculously fine, and he is getting ridiculously proud of it, not least because it makes him look a great deal older than he is. He is curly and tall and thin as a willow, and looks handsome even when he's sick, which is gratifying and the only thing that mitigates the sickness (as he gets older, he gets sicker more often, two or three times a week now and he supposes he should try to find the herbs Ane's physicians used on him but he doesn't want to have anything to do with doctors and medicine now that he has the opportunity to be free of them).

If Cecily asked he'd take her back in a heartbeat, he truly would. He just doesn't suppose she wants him. Meanwhile he's more than happy with Gwytha and Mordred and Maggie.

---

She doesn't just want to be his lover; she finds that she doesn't want to share him, that if she could have him she wouldn't share herself either. She wants a true lover, to be the most important person in the world to someone.

There's got to be some way to win him.

In the meantime, she wants to make him just as jealous as she is, and there's only one man she knows he loves. She has her maid dress her hair with flowers and small jewels, wears her prettiest, least ostentatious gown, and goes to find a place where she can meet Mordred without appearing to have sought him.